To me, my mental state is my priority. When I can’t think straight, nothing gets done. My motivation slips, my energy slips, and overall things start to run me down. I’ve found it vital to consider what makes me feel low, and what makes me feel on top of the world. Getting to know myself in this way helps me balance my mood because more times than not, I know what’s contributing to my emotions. This helps me actively find an alternative which I know will make me feel more positive. For example, I know that when I force myself to work all the hours I possibly can, my mood will drop after a few days. I’ll start to reduce time on hobbies that keep me in a positive mind space, I become fatigued, and the cycle starts again. So alternatively, I’ll cut back and set myself a creative task for my days off which instantly revives my mood. Accepting that you are only human stops you from constantly blaming yourself for things you are struggling to push through with. As the saying goes ‘it’s okay to not be okay’, but it’s how you deal with it that makes the difference.
We all know that we need money to survive, but massive amounts aren’t necessary for happiness; as we are often forced to believe through the media we are exposed to day to day. We are fooled into believing that luxuries will make us the pinnacle of happy, but changing your perception of luxury makes you realise that the best things in life aren’t paid for. My luxuries are family, friends, relationships, experiences and memories. Don’t get me wrong, we all love a new item of clothing or something a little more expensive, but there is always a limit to the happiness it can provide me with before I want something else. When it comes to family and friends, there’s no limit to the happiness they can provide. What you put in is what you get out, and this isn’t always the case when it comes to money. Taking that into consideration, my only need for money is to pay necessary bills. It’s at this point where you must consider whether you want money or time. Money can always be earned at various points, but time cannot be lived at any point.
Physical health is scientifically proven to improve your overall wellbeing. When I feel unhealthy, I start thinking negatively about my appearance. My confidence falls, and again, things I want to pursue become difficult. So far, going to the gym just an hour a day has improved my confidence, anxieties and energy levels so much. Not only that, it makes me consciously consider my diet and what I’m putting into my body. When I fall out of my fitness routine, I start eating foods that bloat me, which in turn makes me feel so self-conscious and unhappy about my body. It’s amazing how something that takes up a fraction of your day can have such a positive influence on other areas of your life.
Relationships are another massive influence in my life, whether it be friends, family, or a partner. Over the past couple of years, I have distinguished my self-worth which has helped me to cut out the people who are not good for me. I have become more confident (not big headed) in what I deserve because I need people around me who can contribute to my life positively. Sometimes I have been blinded and fooled into lowering my standards and it has always affected my life negatively. If you try your best with the people in your life, you should expect the best back, it’s only fair and the good people in your life will understand that! Toxic relationships and friendships will never end well, or will force you to compromise your happiness and waste periods of your life, no matter how many times you tell yourself it can work. Surround yourself with positive people who make you the best version of yourself.
NEGATIVITY & POSITIVITY
Distinguishing positive and negative vibes is detrimental to the way you feel every day. Surrounding yourself with negativity will always make you feel negative about life. Whether it’s a negative friend, family member, activity or job, always question what positive things you are gaining from it. If it’s money, that isn’t a good enough excuse for myself. Most of the time, I will remove negativity or approach it. For example, if a person in my life is negative in their overall attitude I may distance myself or alternatively drop the hint ‘you shouldn’t be so negative about things’, because deep down their actions and attitudes contribute to my own attitudes and values. Even something deemed as insignificant as talking about something negative or complaining, I will never feel ashamed to state ‘I’d rather not talk about that’ or ‘talking about this is making me feel negative and stressed’. The best people in your life will always understand, and if they don’t you should consider if they should continue to be a part of your life.
Comparison has been the hardest area of my life to conquer. With social media, models, influencers etc. we believe we should all look a certain way to be ‘beautiful’ or ‘worthy’ of things. Although it has been difficult, I am at a point in my life where I am more focussed on being the best version of myself opposed to looking a particular way. I follow beauty gurus to inspire me, not to copy them. I follow bloggers to make me feel positive about life and to see the results of hard work. I follow fitness influencers to motivate me to improve my own body, not to look like them. I’ve switched my mind set to motivation and inspiration over comparison, because the truth is I will never look like somebody else, but I will always look like me. Being myself is always achievable, and being the healthiest and most positive version of myself is always possible. It will always shine through.
*DISCLAIMER: these tips are what work best for me, so do not feel pressured to follow this advice if you feel there is no need to. I hope you enjoyed this blog post, and I’d appreciate any feedback given. Let me know if you would like more posts in this style or if there is something else you’d like to see on my blog!
LOVE SIYAN XXX